Many of my close friends and family know that I love the challenge of certain types of puzzles and most mysteries. As a child, I used to love doing various board games and watching murder mystery programmes on television. As an adult, I still enjoy the challenges of a good detective novel or a general knowledge quiz. So, there you are - plenty of ideas for Christmas presents for me !!!! One of the most enjoyable classes I ever attended at university, was a game of sorts. One day a lecturer introduced my class to some "word association" techniques, and after that class a few of us got together over a pint or two and had loads of fun quizzing each other about our various responses. Ah, the joy of student days !!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with "word association" I will explain. Basically, this technique is used in some psychological practices to develop a person's self awareness and to explore their "inner being". The professional will ask the client to speak whatever word comes into her or his mind in response to a particular prompt, and then the professional will use these responses from the client to explore certain issues.
For example, the professional might say "God" and the client could reply "good" or "love". Or the prompt "grass" might be given which could elicit the reply "green" or"field". Or the name "diCaprio" might get the reply "gorgeous" or "sexy", and so on.
Wouldn't it be interesting if we tried a word association exercise with the various congregations that make up our European District ? I wonder what type of responses we would get ? I tried this a few weeks ago when preparing this sermon. Now I have to say that I have only attended four other churches in the District so far, so my sample is limited. I also gave some thought to each congregation rather than trying to give an automatic reply. Nevertheless, I found the exercise quite interesting. When I thought about Living Springs MCC in Bath I came up with words such as "spiritual" and "welcoming".
MCC Manchester brought up words such as "committed" and "proactive".
I thought of words like "lively" and "engaging" for MCC Newcastle, whilst MCC Bournemouth for me was "strong" and "rooted".
Of course, these words represent just a limited personal impression of these congregations, but they threw up interesting and unique characteristics for me - each church had its own particular flavour, as far as I was concerned. I then turned to thinking about my own congregation - Holy Trinity MCC here in Edinburgh. I had had a couple of conversations with people outside the congregation in recent months and what interested me was the words they associated with my church. For them, Holy Trinity MCC was about "campaigning" and a passion for "justice" - at least they were only willing to share positive comments with me !! I was interested in these comments, because they reflected a valuable aspect of our congregational life, even though this was only one aspect of our work.
Campaigning for social justice in Scotland today is part of our ministry. Scotland, like our Celtic cousin nation Wales, is on the move. Politically, economically, socially and culturally. Scotland now has its own Parliament again after three hundred years. Wales has its own national assembly after almost six hundred years. Both countries remain within the United Kingdom, and both governments have enormous national problems to address.
This year, the first full year of the Scottish Parliament, saw a great deal of time given to the repeal of Section 28, or Section 2A as it was known here. This section was an odious piece of legislation created in the 1980s which attempted to prevent local authorities from addressing the issue of homosexuality in a balanced and objective manner. The Scottish Parliament wanted to repeal this law, partly to symbolise how Scotland was being transformed into a new inclusive and tolerant nation. But this decision provoked an incredible, and often vicious, debate throughout the whole country, with many Christians being at the forefront of that debate. After months of painful, tense campaigning, Section 2A was finally repealed in July, much to the Scottish Parliament's credit. Unfortunately, similar attempts in Wales and England have so far failed.
Holy Trinity played its part in this campaign. Because of this, some of us came into close contact with those Christians who opposed repeal, who wanted the law to stay in place. Often they used many of the old arguments, many of the old lies, to attack homosexuality and gay people, often misrepresenting scripture in the process. I was struck on a number of occasions, by the power that still existed in these old arguments. But what also struck me was how often these homophobic Christians would refer to the phrase "tough love" when in attack mode, to justify their hostility.
"Tough love".
Go back to the idea of word association that I mentioned earlier. I wonder what words or phrases you associate with "tough love" ? For our homophobic sisters and brothers, "tough love" meant a number of things. For some, it meant that God loves us all, but that God is not soft in this love. God's love imposes conditions and restrictions for our own good - these restrictions includes the demand to resist homosexuality at all costs, because it is a perversion of God's natural order. For some other Christians "tough love" meant "loving the sinner but hating the sin".
In other words, lesbians and gay men were to be loved as people, but "homosexual practices" were to be condemned. For the most compassionate of homophobic Christians, the gay condition was a cross that gay people have to bear. "Tough love" for these Christians meant supporting gay people in their torment, but nevertheless strongly discouraging gay behaviour. I'm sure that many of you in this room today are very familiar with these expressions of "tough love". And I suspect that many of you would fiercely challenge these views too ! But what does this term "tough love" mean to you ? How does it differ from these other definitions ?
For me as a gay man, I utterly reject the homophobes interpretation of"tough love". There is plenty of "toughness" in their understanding but little that I can recognise as "love" ! For them to hold their argument, a great deal depends on them seeing homosexuality as ungodly and wrong. Most, if not all of these Christians would find it virtually impossible to see homosexuality as being part of God's created intent. And yet, that it where I stand, and I'm sure that's where you stand too ! Being gay or lesbian is an intrinsic part of our humanity, and is intimately bound up with our capacity for love, and to love. And yet society has still got a long way to go in accepting this, in accepting gay people's desire to love, and to express that love. To express that love often requires courage, often requires taking risks, and runs the risk of rejection.
So for many gay and lesbian people, "tough love" is all about being "true to love"; it's all about the cost they have to pay to love. It's as much about human responsibilities as human rights. And of course, it's all about the nature of God. But more about that later !!"Tough love"also means other things. There are countless examples of "tough love" in the Bible.
Our three readings today provide us with plenty to say on this issue. The reading from Genesis is well known to many of us. The story is about Abraham being willing to sacrifice his only son Isaac in obedience to God's command. This is Abraham's last great test of faith, comparable to his original call from God to leave Ur. What an agonising choice he faced ! And yet he chose to obey God over saving his son. In doing so, he must have gone against almost every human instinct in his whole being. And his decision has left many generations wondering and worrying - could I have done the same ? How much am I willing to do for God ? Would God ever make a similar demand of me ?
In this powerful story we see many things. We see the triumph of faith and hope over fear and doubt. We see a classic example of "tough love" as it really is - the kind of love that costs dearly. The kind of love that asks us to go beyond our personal comfort zone. To reach out for God's sake. But we also see two other important messages in this story.
Firstly, look at Isaac's role as well as Abraham's. Isaac by all accounts, does not resist his father's decision, but seems to willingly submit himself to his fate. Many of us would shudder at his passivity, but what he is doing is providing us with an early image of the other Son who went willingly to his fate. And secondly, look at God's response to Abraham. God makes an oath - giving Abraham a guarantee of future blessings because of his obedient faithfulness.
The well known readings from Matthew gives us another angle on the concept of "tough love" . Here we see Jesus in a series of teachings challenging the legalistic attitudes of many religious people of his day. How would many of his critics have understood"tough love" I wonder ? I suspect that many of them would have sought refuge in the Law, in their rigid and superficial interpretation of the Law. But Jesus offers a new ethical standard.
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" !
"Tough love" indeed ! The love that offers a radical alternative to human ways. The love that we see fully in the life and teaching of Jesus. A love which imposes no conditions to be received. A love that costs dearly, but is freely given. Paul's letter to the Philippians provides us with our final reading today. Now I have very mixed feelings about Paul ! Catch me on a bad day and Paul gets a very bad press from me, but one thing that I have to admit is that Paul practised the gospel of"tough love". Yes, Paul had some very tough things to say about Christian conduct and belief, but my focus here is on his own conduct and belief. In this letter Paul addresses many issues with the small church in Philippi. He is concerned that these Christians embrace unity and not disunity, that they reject legalism, and that they model their lives on their ultimate role model - Jesus the Christ. But what is really important for me today is to remember that Paul wrote this letter during a long period of imprisonment. During a period of intense personal trial. His concern that we should, 'Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice !" is even more remarkable because of this. And he uses the word "joy" sixteen times during the letter. We learn here from Paul, that "tough love" can be very costly indeed.
Perhaps we are fortunate today in that most of us don't have to face the seemingly impossible challenges and demands that Abraham, Isaac, Jesus and Paul faced in their time. And yet our international media today points to many examples of Christians around the world who pay a heavy price for their faith. We must learn from all of these people if we are to take our faith seriously. Our own lives bring many challenges, some more serious than others. But we don't need to face imprisonment or death as our biblical role models did, to put our own understanding of "tough love" into action.
Nor do we need to deny our God-given nature as many Christians would have us do. For us, the possibility of showing"tough love"or "costly love" exists whenever we are faced with a situation which calls us to pay a price for Christ. That might be standing firm in the face of homophobia, by celebrating who we are. It might be when we have to risk something of value which might be to do with status or wealth or comfort. It might be when we have to go out on a limb and be somewhere or do something which we would not normally countenance. It might be when we confront our inner demons and act in spite of them.
The hallmark of "tough love"is to listen to that inner voice and to act out of love for God's sake. It is the full valuing of God, including the God within us, not denying what God has given us. It is to try and behave as God behaves towards us. No conditions. No threats. No final warnings. But to offer of ourselves the best of ourselves, as best we can. And when we act as such, we can do so in the sure knowledge that God is with us, loving us all the way. Just as God was with Abraham, Isaac, Jesus and Paul, all the way.
Now that is something to rejoice about !!!
Thank you.
This sermon was delivered by Ian Bonner-Evans at the District Conference of the European District of the Universal Fellowhip of Metropolitan Community Churches, in Edinburgh on 19 November 2000.
